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1022 I have been extremely nice to my brother for as long as I could remember (doing his laundry, cleaning his room, getting him food or drinks, giving him money, or "loaning " him money that he never paid back).

About two years ago though I got fed up with it all. It happened after he had taken a credit card that was sent to me and opened it and used it without my consent, and me catching him going through my wallet. I sort of snapped, I had a very short temper with his ways and wanted him to start doing things for himself.

When we would start to fight which we never did before, I would say terrible things to him that I am ashamed of, I would lower him in the words that I would say and raise myself up. I even started to get upset with my parents (which I have a great relationship with) I was upset that I never did anything to wrong them or cause them hurt and they were allowing my brother to walk all over us.

It started to get so bad that my brother actually physically assaulted me twice, I stopped talking to him or even looking at him, I couldn't even stand anyone talking about him around me.

Now though since its Ramadan I told myself I’m going to try to forgive him, I started talking to him here and there not too much but I still can’t really look at him. I was watching this show and it said that God tests people and puts them through hardships to see if they break easily those that do are not close to God and God is not close to them and those that do not break are the ones that God is close to.

I feel really bad about the things that I have done, but I can’t help still having some bad feelings towards my brother ( I still don't like people talking about him in front of me), I need help with this I don’t want God to be far from me or me far from God. What should I do, how can I redeem myself? But I also feel like getting close to my brother will cause me harm again, this is why during Ramadan I started to say hi and bye to him and offering him food, but I really won’t do things for him or really look at him. I don’t know, am I still doing wrong?
It is very good that you are trying to make amends to the difficult relationship you have with your brother and that you have not only seen your brother’s errors but your own faults too. This is a very big step in itself.

Try your upmost to reconcile with your brother as well as with your parents, and show compassion and forgiveness towards him as by doing so it would make it easy for all involved to approach each other and feel at ease within their company.

May Allah (S.W.T) make it easy for you and grant many blessing in your relationship and household.

Please try the following Dua, which you will find useful inshallah:

Due to remove Differences in the Family

Whoever has problems within the Ghaar (Household) or Handaan (Family Members) should recite from the holy Quran, Ayah 47 of Surah Al Hijr (The Rock) (Surah 15), after every Fard Namaz 11 times. After completion, look towards the Sky and blow in the air.

Continue this recitation till all the differences in the family are sorted out.

Please also refer to other answered questions similar to your question. You may find the answers helpful.

(Answered by: Hafiz Mohammed Akhtar)
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