40 | Can you please provide for me the permissible Shari limits when looking for a partner for marriage and are the boy and girl allowed to see or talk to one another to see if they are compatible to one another for marriage? What is the importance/ level of parents and familys involvement? | ||
The Non Mehrams are not allowed to converse in normal matters, however you can talk and see the person you are to marry (within Hudood (Limits)). Mughirah bin shubah (R.A) narrates that "I asked a woman in marriage". The Messenger of Allah (S.W.T) asked me "have you looked at her?" I said No. HE (S.A.W) said "then look at her because it is better that there should be love between you." (Ahmad 2973/10 also Tirmizi, Nasaee, Ibn Majah and Daarimi). Surah Noor in the holy Quran, talk further on marriage and whom you should marry as it says, "Marry those who are single" (Quran 32:24). So in Light of both Quran and Hadith a person can choose a marriage partner, but there must be restraints and Shariah limits followed to approach, meeting and asking for marriage (proposal). However you are able to see and talk to one another to see compatibility. Parent's involvement is very beneficial and merciful. In the process the child should observe the parents rights and happiness and the parents should look for future happiness for the child by marrying him/ her to some one religious and one she/he will live happily with. Hazrat Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W) has said; "when anybody; with whose religion and character you are satisfied; sends an offer (asking your daughter in marriage), accept his offer. If you do not do so, there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption" (Tirmizi 2956/6). | |||
Category (Marriage / Divorce) | |||
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